Tales of a Ninja Monkey

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

The week that nearly made my head explode

So here we go, I am going to give you a play by play of all the ridiculous sh*t that happened to me in the past week that serioulsy has almost made my head explode. What, did you think the title was just something to entice you?

Tuesday 11/8: Fun With E.P.D (Eugene Police Department)

So I am driving my friend Octavio to the bus station on Tuesday night around 9:30pm. We are on chambers and 6th and I am planning on turning onto 7th to head downtown. Because of other car related ridiculousness my defroster has stopped working and it is like 38 degrees outside so the car is all cloudy and visibility is not the best. So I get into the left lane and wait for it to go green so I can turn onto 7th. The light goes green and I am waiting for the oncoming traffic to stop so I can go, as soon as I am about to turn I realize that I am a block ahead of myself and I am about to turn onto 6th, which is a one way headed towards me. I realize my mistake before I started to turn but not before I looked in my rear view mirror to see those glorious flashing lights. I proceed to pull into the Bank of America or US Bank, whichever one is on the corner. So the cop comes to my side and after asking me why he thinks I was pulled over immediately asks how much I have been drinking. To which I replied absolutely none. He then points his flashlight at Octavio and says; "well I smell it on his breath, how much has he had?" How he was so quick to think it was me, but then suddenly switch to Octavio is beyond me. Octavio had been drinking whiskey earlier and the cop asked if it was in the car. I pointed to his nalgene type water bottle which was empty and the cop confiscated it. So on and on it went until I started to feel really uncomfortable. Before he searched the entire car he asked if I had any guns or knives he should know about. And while patting me down asking if I had any sharp objects or needles he should know about. So long story short, I get cited for three different things: 1. Uninsured motorist 2. Expired out of state tabs 3. Open Container. Now let me make this perfectly clear, I will not play the race card because I know these things were my fault, I knew I was uninsured, I also knew the car was unregistered, and the open container is bullshit because it was a sealed water bottle and it was empty. That being said, I am well aware I have cornrows and a beard, and I have a gut wrenching feeling that I cannot shake that tells me that if this had been a car full of girls who were all drinking I still do not think he would have asked if their were any guns or knives. I understand the needle question because a friend of the family was actually stuck with a needle while patting someone down and know has hepatitis from it. If this was not an example of racial profiling I believe it was at least an example of sexual discrimination. Last but far from least, the car was impounded and I know have an "administration fee" of $110 to get it out of impound on top of the close to $500 of the rest of the ticket. My court date is on the 22nd and I plan on fighting all of it.

Wednesday 11/9: Fun with the Court System

So a couple of weeks ago Marcela was summoned for jury duty, not a big deal and she would normally jump at the opportunity but there is that small problem of her being in another country (Mexico) at the present time. So I needed to mail the letter to her mom in Corvallis so that she could take care of it. When I go to mail it on Wed. I cannot find it. I freak out. I look everywhere for it and after what seemed like an hour of frantic searching I found it and mailed it off, *whew, one disaster avoided. In my search I come across the letter that I received about my court date for my unemployment hearing which was set to be a teleconference. For those of you who want the skinny on that whole mess read this. Basically I applied for unemployment and was denied, then I had them reinvestigate and I was approved because they (previous employers) had a weak case. Then "they" appealed the decision and so a court date was set for both of us to plead our cases. Upon finding the letter, I noticed that the date I thought the hearing was on Monday the 14th, was actually set for the previous Monday (11/7) while I was in class. I freak out yet again. Keep in mind I just got over my freak-out of ten minutes ago. So I call the first number I see for the administrative hearing and they basically tell me there is nothing I can do, and that I just have to wait until I get the result(s) in the mail and if I do not agree with them I can re-open the case. Not what Johnnie wants to hear. So in the mail that same day I get the letter. The thing is like 6 pages long and goes over the whole hearing. I get to the last part, the "order" or verdict I assume, and it says in inflated judicial speech that I won. Yea, that is right, I won my case and I was not even there to defend myself. Bitches.

Wednesday and Thursday 11/9-11/10: Fun with losing Money

So not one, but two days in a row I lost in poker. This just does not happen. It might not seem like that big of a deal but considering poker is my source of income I take it pretty seriously. This again is an example of an unhappy Johnnie. I did however redeem my self on Friday by winning $25.00 in a little under 2 hours.

Saturday through Monday 11/10-11/14: Fun with a make shift steam room

I open my bedroom door on Sat. and I notice there is condensation on the window. Granted it has been cold outside and sometimes that happens when in the morning after a cold night. But it was like 6pm and I had not been in there. So I open the window to break the seal and ignore it. The next day the same condensation is on the window and the tempature of my room has significantly changed from Oregon coldness to Brazilian heat. I again did not really know what to think until on Monday when I hear a dripping coming from my closet. A little FYI, you should never hear a dripping coming form your closet. So I check and sure enough my hot water is dripping onto itself causing steam and a lovely little pool to form. I call Von Klein and our maintenance came out on Tuesday and fixed it. The good thing about being manager is that while he was here he fixed a bunch of other things.

Tuesday and Wednesday 11/15-11/16: Fun with College

So after talking to my advisor today and getting permission to do so, I am probably looking at a winter term where I am taking 19 credits. This is compared to the 10 I am taking this term. I am looking forward to all of my classes, it is just going to be crazy to find time to, you know, do those things like, eating, sleeping and on yea, being absolutely inundated and hopelessly lost in love with Marcela when she gets back. Side note: Only 24 more days!! ( but who is counting really?)

So there it is, my life for the past week. Now I begin preparing for my court date on the 22nd which means getting insurance, getting new plates and tags and fighting like hell to get that open container bullshit dropped. If any of you have any brilliant ideas about court let me know. Considering I have never even had a ticket before this whole thing is new to me.


  • Wow. That's an eventful week.

    That open container thing is pure bullshit. Did the cop ask to see what was in the Nalgene bottle or did you just give him the only "container" in the car? I can't say I disagree with you that a car full of girls would not have been searched. I was once on Wilamette heading North when I went to make a left turn onto 4th go to the Amtrak station. It was dark and rainy and every other street in that neighborhood is one-way except Willamette. So I switched lanes -- into the oncoming lane -- then realized my mistake and switched back before turning. I was immediately pulled over and asked if I were drinking. When I said no and no one in the car had been, he let me go (after lecturing me about not having the correct address on my license).

    That being said, everything you said the cop did sets a bad cop alarm in my head. It doens't sound to me like that cop had any rhyme or reason to search you or the car. I've been pulled over late at night in Eugene several times, sometimes with drunk friends in the car (a couple of times with a problem with my tags), and not once has the cop ever said "your friend is drunk, I need to search your car." They might say "I'm glad to know you're being a sober driver for your friend," but NEVER would they search the car. Sounds like a big fucking Fourth Amendment violation to me. That sure sounds like an unreasonable search. You might be right about the sexual discrimination, which is bad enough, but from what I've heard about the EPD that sure as hell sounds like racial profiling to me. Why on earth he would leap from "your friend is drunk" to "he must have booze in the car" so quickly. . . .

    The only brilliant idea I have is that constitutionally, you have a right to a trial by jury for any fine over $200. If you have the guts to demand a trial, they can't deny you but it will cost the state so much they'd proabably drop the charges (I know people this worked for). Then again, if they agree to a trial, you have to pay a lawyer.

    By Blogger Thought Criminal, at 10:27 PM  

  • John: I looked into the Oregon State open container law (ORS 811.170) and I think your best shot is that the nalgene bottle was empty.

    ORS 811.170 defines an open alcoholic container as, "any bottle, can or other receptacle containing any alcoholic liquor, which has been opened, or a seal broken, or the contents of which have been partially removed."

    If you can prove the nalgene was empty, or get the police officer to admit the container was empty, that'll be your best case. Of course that doesn't guarantee a court win, but being tried by a jury will most likely help your chances, since they'll probably be more lenient and understanding than a judge.

    By Blogger Mr. Burns, at 6:17 PM  

  • Hey, give us an update! What happened at your court date?

    By Blogger Thought Criminal, at 6:21 PM  

  • John. It is Evan. It has been over two months since you have posted. What is up?

    By Blogger Mr. Burns, at 8:43 PM  

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